Nuts and Bolt

Shuck yeah!  Competitors in the Merrell Oyster Urban Adventure Race revel in their porn ‘staches.

If you haven’t tried one of Colorado’s ridiculous summertime adventure races/obstacle courses/urban challenges, well, what are you waiting for? These events will make you laugh just as hard as they’ll make you move your legs.

Pajama Run, June 17 • Denver

What better way to spend Father’s Day then by running 5K around Wash Park with dear old Dad in your pajamas? Okay, so it’s a little weird, but it’s for a good cause. Your $25 race fee (free for those 18 and under) will support cancer research. While this race has been happening in a handful of other cities in the U.S., 2012 marks its Colorado debut. The gauntlet has been thrown down: will the Mile High City rock the pj’s?

Undy 5000, June 23 • Denver

For the fourth year in a row, Denverites will strip down to their boxers and run 5K around City Park. Considering this race takes place in the biggest city in the fittest state in the nation, the real question is, who wouldn’t want to be there? If you’re unfortunately too busy on June 23rd, the Undy 5000 is a national series that raises awareness for colon cancer (defined by the race directors as “a pain in the ass”), so you can catch it in another city. We respectfully suggest that you don’t choose the one in Cincinnati, Ohio. No offense to the Midwest, but, well, the butts aren’t the same.

Urban Dare Adventure Race, July 14 • Denver

The Urban Dare has gotten so popular that it’s now held in 40 cities across the U.S., including Denver. You’ll need a partner for this urban adventure that’s part trivia, part photo hunt and part physical challenge. Teams of two solve 12 clues that take them all over LoDo to checkpoints where they must capture a photo or complete a dare. The clues require some knowledge of both the history and layout of the city and past dares have ranged from eating slimy food to shooting hoops. Expect to spend two to four hours covering five to seven miles. 

New Belgium Urban Assault Ride, July 15 • Fort Collins, July 22 • Denver

For the second year in a row, the biggest bike scavenger hunt in the nation will go down in two Colorado locations. Whether you choose Fort Collins or Denver or both, it’s best to know your way around the city (or have a teammate who does). You’ll use city bike trails to reach checkpoints where you’ll dismount to tackle obstacles like adult big wheels, inflatable slip ’n slides, bouncy balls, paint ball and our personal favorite—bike limbo.

Underwearness Drop Your Drawers and Run Wild, July 20 • Denver

This underwear run is billed as “family friendly,” which seems a bit counter-intuitive until you find out the race is part of an initiative to provide new underwear for marginalized families and children. The 5K run takes place in City Park with a private after-party at the zoo. Put your pants back on for that, otherwise you’ll scare the monkeys.

Survivor Mud Run, July 22 • Denver

If you’re wondering how much mud one could possibly encounter on a 5K course (it’s a bit more at 3.47 miles to be exact), let’s just say you will absolutely want to bring a change of clothes. You’ll encounter 20 obstacles in total, both muddy (mud pits, mud bayous, logs over mud) and non-muddy (things you have to climb over, under, through). But the point is really to turn competitors chocolate brown long before anyone crosses the finish line.

Diva Dash, July 28 • Boulder

While we hesitate to mention an event that leaves the guys out, we can’t help ourselves with this 5K obstacle course because EO’s three leading ladies, Publisher Meredith DeMaso, Account Executive Dana Waggener and Managing Editor Jayme Moye are competing as a team. Come cheer them on, or catch up with them at the after party beer and wine garden.

Silly Pig 5k Mud Run, July 29 • Aurora

This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy ran a 5K… The Silly Pig 5k Mud Run is a great prep race for the bigger, badder Muddy Buddy in Boulder two weeks later. Held at the Arapahoe County Fairgrounds in Aurora, the race will have you crawl through tunnels, splash through mud pits, negotiate tire obstacles, scale walls and climb on cargo nets. Costumes are encouraged, pigs and beyond.

CityScape Adventures, August 4 • Denver, August 5 • Colorado Springs

Grab a partner and get ready to use your brain as much as your body for this urban adventure that pits teams of two in a race around the city solving puzzles and completing physical challenges.

Warrior Dash, August 18-19 Copper Mountain

The Warrior Dash is the largest running series in the world, with more than 50 races across the U.S., as well as in Canada and the UK. The Copper Mountain race is so popular that it’s held twice, two days in a row, so that the thousands of wannabe warriors can participate. The course covers 12 obstacles that include rappelling, climbing, balancing, leaping over fire and, of course, muddy crawling, over a span of three miles.

Merrell Oyster Urban Adventure Race, August 25 • Denver

Much more than your typical solve-clues-and-ride-the-bus urban challenge, the Oyster requires that you run, bike and sometimes even paddle. In fact, the transition area in the Aquarium parking lot becomes a showcase of endurance sports gear, with some teams of three literally emptying their garages to make sure they have everything they’ll possibly need to compete . . . including a grill and a cooler for a little post-race victory BBQ.

80’s Retro Run, August 26 • Denver

After a successful debut last year, the 80’s Retro Run is back. If you’re lucky enough to still own a banana clip, you’ll want to use it in place of your ponytail holder for this 5K race held at Sloan’s Lake. Neon, leg warmers and acid-washed jeans are highly encouraged. Jelly shoes are not, but only for runner safety reasons. Stick around for the post-race costume contest, 80’s music and break dancers.

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