Dog Runs Half-Marthon; Blacklisted in Boulder?
There was a time not long ago when Boulder was considered the crème de la kibble for dogs. Our canine pals were welcome in restaurants, trails, stores and tons of local events. And of course, dog owners were officially “guardians” not “owners”. It was a great time of dog park proliferation, where the streets were paved with milk bones and piles of manure begged to be rolled in. Some even say the butts smelled sweeter.
But alas, dark times have descended upon Boulder. Slowly, almost secretively, trail regulations began to restrict dogs and then ban them all together. City council has shown a strong anti-dog bias and more than ever, our puppy population is literally spending more time in the doghouse. Owning a dog in Boulder is kind of like harboring a fugitive from the law–which is why an event that happened in a recent Maryland half-marathon could never happen in Boulder.
As the video shows, Dozer the goldendoodle ran the Maryland Half Marathon as a rogue entry. He even stopped to get a few drinks at the aide stations! What is more amazing is that, in the spirit of fun, the race organizers gave Dozer a medal for running and a dedicated racer’s page where people can donate to the cancer research organization that received funds from the event. Visit Dozer’s racer profile page here! Notice that Dozer has raised almost $5,000 at the time this post was updated.
Can you imagine if Dozer happened to pull the same stunt in Boulder?
- Race officials would disqualify him for not properly displaying his race bib.
- Dozens of runners would angrily demand refunds, arguing that the adorable ‘doodle caused their heart rates to change, costing them a chance at a valuable personal best time. Others would accuse Dozer of “drafting” off them and still others would claim the dog “set an unreasonable pace” and had the unfair advantage of “an extra set of legs”.
- Those who finished behind Dozer would accuse him of using performance enhancing drugs. Samples of Alpo and “energy boosting” Snausages are sent to France for testing, where they are instantly lost and confused with samples from the 1996 Sweedish biathlon team (though oddly, biathlete Bjorn Borgenson tests positive for heartworms).
- Local media would grimly report that dogs are ruining the very fabric and freedom of Boulder. City council would launch a 2-year, 6 million dollar investigation to find out if people “like” dogs.
Fortunately, Dozer put in his miles in Maryland, where he’s being lauded as a local hero. Race officials are even considering inviting him back for next year’s event. Just a reminder that some funny things that happen actually are fun– oh and that dogs rule. Go Dozer!