You know you’ve always envied people who post about the perfect snatch they saw during the WOD in their box. Sadly this is not “sexual.” It’s Cross-sexual. This is how the CrossFit faithful talk. But what does it take to join this tribe? We have you covered.
To unleash your inner Cross-Sexual, you’ll need to start by joining a gym, know as a “box.” Fortunately, unlike many boxes where bad form seems de rigueur, Colorado CrossFit gyms emphasize proper execution of what might otherwise be dangerous cleans, jerks and snatches. Those kipping pull-ups, however—when you swing your legs for momentum—look like the person performing them just got hit by a Taser while hanging from a bar, no matter where you do them. Who would call that thing a pull-up … and just… why? Maybe you’ll throw up before you throw out your back?
Oh, wait, throwing up is part of the workout.
Want to know more Cross-sexual secrets? You’ll need to turn paleo, except on “cheat day.” But worry not, that basically means you eat bacon at every meal. Remember to drink coconut water and bulletproof coffee.
To look the part, you’ll need Reebok, Inov-8, Topo Athletic or Nike on your feet. When it comes to apparel, Reebok and Lululemon are mainstays, along with newcomer, Respect Your Universe. And chalk. Chalk dust is to CrossFit as cowbell is to the downhill And we all need more cowbell.
Intrigued? Read on for our breakdown of the best fitness apparel to help you dress like a Cross-sexual:
CrossFit Burnout Tank
This tough yet tender tank is slim fitting so it moves with you through your WOD, wicking sweat and fighting off stench with an antimicrobial treatment, while a water-resistant finish repels vomit. $40 | reebok.com
While not designed specifically for CrossFit, this shoe keeps with the natural, minimalist sense snatchers love thanks to features like a low stack height and zero drop from heel to forefoot. The breathable upper features stretch mesh that moves with your feet. $90 | topoathletic.com
Respect Your Universe
Teclayr 2N1 Short
RYU (Respect Your Universe) saves you from needing to wear both compression briefs and over shorts by doubling them up: A supple, four-way stretch shell covers an anti-bacterial carbon mesh-lined inner short that’s snug enough to grip your package, but not so snug that your grunts go soprano. The quick-drying woven outer features side splits for maximum range of motion, plus breezy laser-cut venting and a handy back pocket. $65 | ryu.com
CrossFit is all about commitment, and low-profile, breathable Groove Life rings are as single-minded as the sport. They feature moisture channels, air ports and an inner arch, so active users won’t snag them on their egos. The durable rings come with a lifetime warranty and in a variety of colors. $30 | groovelife.com