Dog Tales

Thank you for adding a new high-quality outdoor adventure magazine about Colorado. As a Lab, I am a big fan of the outdoors. However, I noticed your inaugural issue focuses on winter resorts. How does this information benefit me? It’s not that I can’t ski—four legs actually make it easier—it’s more the issue of getting on and off the lifts. As a result, my guardians rarely include me in ski trips. In future issues of Elevation Outdoors, I urge you to take a stronger canine focus and hope to see more pieces on outdoor activities that include me.

Regards,

Cody Bear Otto, Boulder CO

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I’m not big on reading, but it does help pass the time when the people are away. I can only sit and stare at that other dog for so long. I like reading to learn about the kinds of things the people do when they leave for long stretches of time on the weekends. Sometimes in the winter they come home with big smiles but they are cold and their clothes are all wet, and then the lady parks it in the hot shower for like half an hour. What’s up with that? In the summer, they come in and don’t sit down— just stand by the sink and drink a bunch of water and scarf whatever food they can find. Is that like when me and the other dog come home from the park and are super thirsty? What wouldn’t I give for a cabinet of crackers and cheese puffs! Anyway, any gaps you can help me fill in would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Crema, Boulder CO

I hear you are publishing a magazine. Hurrah. The downturn in publishing has me quite concerned. Newspapers are disappearing faster than investment banks and magazines are not far behind them. Where are my pups gonna pee if newspapers keep folding? I’m sure your publication will fit the bill. Plus, the recycled paper you use makes us feel much better about the sus-You homo sapien fools. You think you get face shots. Try putting a snout in the snow as you run downhill. Four legs. No skis. No snow-boards. Forget your hippy drippy telemark turns. This is what powder is for. This is the only pure way to experience fresh snow—bounding down making a mess of all that fresh snow that you had your eyes on for first tracks. And snow is good for marking your territory. You must mark as much territory as possible. Get out from behind that tree and

mark what is yours.

Sincerely,

Ananda, Allenspark CO

You homo sapien fools. You think you get face shots. Try putting a snout in the snow as you run downhill. Four legs. No skis. No snow-boards. Forget your hippy drippy telemark turns. This is what powder is for. This is the only pure way to experience fresh snow—bounding down making a mess of all that fresh snow that you had your eyes on for first tracks. And snow is good for marking your territory. You must mark as much territory as possible. Get out from behind that tree and mark what is yours.

Woof,

Rando, Dillon CO

I want to object to the term “snowcat.” Have you ever seen a cat in the snow? It’s pathetic. I suggest you use the power of your new magazine to lobby for a change of the name of this piece of machinery to a “snowdog.” Doesn’t that sound better already? Or are your hands tied by the cat unions and lobbyists? The cat advertisers? The financial might of big cat toys? I tell you, it’s a conspiracy and you must be the first to

Bow, wow, wow,

Nader, Ward CO

 

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If you—or your dog—has something to tell us, let us know at letters@elevationoutdoors.com

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