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Ellwayville: Shut Up and Live the Dream

Yes, you live in Colorado. And by now, everyone is aware of this fact. Simply because every stunning sunset, impossibly deep powder picture, or peak-reaching high five you Instagram proudly challenges everyone in Iowa, California or Wisconsin to “beat that.”

You officially have it better than anyone who doesn’t live in Norway or the French Alps—which is why I can’t understand how many things you still find to complain about. You know, like when we had all the rain last spring (how’s your lack of fire danger?), and you kept posting, “If I wanted to live in Seattle I would have moved there,” or “enough is enough.” Or your novella of I-70 traffic rants. Breaking news: It’s not news that traffic sucks. Or those Boston, Jersey and Texas transplants who move to Colorado and immediately start complaining about how all the Californians are ruining the place.

Please don’t let your First World Problems cloud your Mile High Stoke. Here’s a quick reminder about a few of the greatest aspects of Rocky Mountain residence, and What You Still Don’t Appreciate (WYSDA).

#1 The Mountains: Awesome, wild and free, the Rocky Mountains are one of the wonders of life. Whether you ski, fish, hike, hunt, take pictures of wildflowers or just like getting Zen beneath the stars, actually being amongst these peaks is a blessing that you can never experience enough.

WYSDA: Staying in a four-star hotel and having coffee on the balcony doesn’t really count as “an experience.” The best way to really be outdoors is in a tent.

#2 The Access: I-70 sucks, and the new pay lane is going to create a culture of velvet-rope loving assholes who want everyone to know they can—and will—shell out more to avoid the jam. Just remember to get up an hour earlier than they do and that you’ll be passing them all on the hill. You’re still getting to the mountains faster than most, with lots of bumper-sticker scoping, parties in the next car over and incredible views.

WYSDA: If you are in traffic, you are traffic. Complaining about it is basically nothing more than complaining about yourself.

#3 The Weather: Unpredictable, unfettered, dropping high-mountain snow in June and 70-degree heat waves in January, Colorado weather is like an inside joke where the punch line is always on us. It’s inspirational, infuriating and totally unpredictable … and dealing with it is one of the daily wonders of Colorado life.

WYSDA: Complaining about the weather is like complaining about sex—just be glad you have it.

#4 The Broncos: The Denver Broncos aren’t only the best team in Colorado, they are one of the best teams in all of sports. In 40 years, they have sold out every game and posted only six losing records. Plus, they have won two Super Bowls and seven AFC Championships. It’s more fun to back a team that wins, as Mother Nature obviously knows. She’s the one responsible for all those amazing orange and blue sunsets.

WYSDA: As for all you carpetbagging Broncos haters who like to remind everyone you moved here from somewhere else: Feel free to take the 5th and shut up.

#5 Legal Weed: Whether you smoke pot or not, the legalization of weed here in Colorado has had some serious positive impacts—most notably, taking a thriving black-market product and turning it into an economic engine that benefits the statewide economy while also reducing the crime rate. Yeah, I still get ticked off by hippies sparking blunts in public places, but I wouldn’t send them to prison for it.

WYSDA: If you like to file your freedoms under the “life, liberty and pursuit of happiness” heading, I think this is a big fit.

#6 John Denver: A lot of people move to Colorado to re-invent themselves, expecting to be newly shaped by the state. Henry John Deutschendorf bet so hard on the idea that he changed his name to John Denver. Then he created a sound to reflect the lifestyle, a folk-rock hiker’s instant nostalgia that became a series of anthems about being awestruck on the trail.

WYSDA: It’s still good music. You still sing along. And if you feel as if you still have your own Rocky Mountain story to tell, take some inspiration from Mr. Denver and start to tell it. Just a note: Splurging on that big gold, red and blue Colorado shoulder tattoo doesn’t count.

#7 This Moment: Per the intro, Colorado life provides a lot of cinematic moments, where it’s just you and the sky and the monastery of mountains, and that photo you will remember the rest of your life—and at least one new photo every week if you get out there enough.

WYSDA: If you don’t get outside, you don’t get that moment. Don’t miss that.

Now go be happy about yourself.

—Elevation Outdoors editor-at-large Peter Kray is the author of The God of Skiing. The book has been called “the greatest ski novel of all time.” You can buy it here: bit.ly/godofskiing

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